Delayed Love Blooms into Sacred Union for Candice Modiselle and Sechaba Sello
Johannesburg – Candice (née Modiselle) and Sechaba Sello's love story is a beautiful illustration that the most profound connections can blossom in unexpected ways and at unexpected times. Their journey, marked by chance encounters, enduring friendship, and unwavering commitment, culminated in a stunning celebration of love and tradition.
Candice fondly recalls their initial meeting on the lawns of their university campus. "Firstly — we listen, we don’t judge," she begins. "It’s been an ongoing joke that I’m the only one who remembers the first time we met." She recounts how a "timid" Sechaba approached her, seeking advice about her course for his younger sister, who shared similar career aspirations. While it wasn't love at first sight, this encounter sparked a series of friendly exchanges and crossed paths, eventually leading to a romance ignited by the same sister a decade later.
Sechaba remembers being increasingly drawn to Candice over the years. "We often crossed paths," he says. "After years, I became more intrigued by Tumelo, whom I was about to be reintroduced to as Candice, with whom the world was already familiar." He vividly recalls their first date, where he was captivated by her "humour, charm, wit, intelligence, values, and mannerisms."
Their dating life was a period of rapid growth and deepening connection. "It was fun and filled with a lot of growth, reflection, and healing," Sechaba explains. "Our love developed rapidly, and so did our friendship. It was exciting and adventurous — it still feels like we’re dating."
Candice fondly remembers the moment she realised the depth of Sechaba's commitment. "One thing about this man, he’s intentionality personified," she says. After a day on set, they decided to grab a late bite, something that had become a regular occurrence. "That particular night, however, he sat me down, expressed his unfiltered intentions, and asked me a series of questions about 'our' future together." Despite only dating for a few weeks, Candice felt a profound sense of security. "I realised, ‘This man does not play about me. He means business.’ Fast forward three years, and every promise has been kept, and expectations exceeded."
Sechaba's intentionality shone through in his elaborate proposal. Candice was led to believe she was attending an early birthday lunch for his mother. "I was told, “It’s just lunch with family” to celebrate his mother’s birthday early," she recounts. Dressed in matching outfits after attending church, they arrived at a beautiful destination. "Upon arrival, the staff walked us to the garden. I was still under the impression it was a birthday lunch. Only when I saw a friend of ours clicking away on his camera as we walked towards the massive “Marry Me” sign did it dawn on me." Overwhelmed with emotion, Candice "jumped, shouted, ran in circles," before finally saying "Yes." Their family emerged from behind the shrubbery, celebrating with ululations and song.
Sechaba wanted the proposal to be "simple, authentic, and beautiful." Knowing Candice's aversion to surprises, planning the event without her knowledge was a challenge. He sought her mother's blessing and assured her that he would immediately begin lobola negotiations.
Lobola, the traditional bride price, was a crucial step in solidifying their union. "This was one of the most crucial steps because it’s so important to show up as a unit," Sechaba explains. With the help of his aunts and uncles, he drafted a letter in Setswana to present to the Modiselle family, expressing his intentions and plans. The Modiselle family accepted, and a date was set for the lobola negotiations. "I waited outside, anxious but confident," Sechaba recalls. His uncle eventually informed him that everything had gone well, and he was invited inside to greet and celebrate.
Prior to their wedding, Candice and Sechaba prioritised pre-marital counselling. "The six-week pre-marital counselling course, through our church, was a priority when lobola negotiations were concluded," Candice explains. As they progressed through the course, they realised they needed more time to pray and reflect on the material. With the support of their pastor and marriage mentors, they made the decision to postpone their wedding by a week.
"In honour of our parents," Sechaba says, "the traditional ceremony was in Soweto, and our blessing ceremony (signing) was an intimate lunch."
Candice's wedding dress was a collaborative effort of three talented women. Tamia Nontsikelelo, founder of Tol Thema, and her friend, played a significant role. Emerging designer Jolie Graca created her Shweshwe dress, while Lucia, an engineer by profession, crafted her official wedding dress. Lucia reached out to Candice after their engagement announcement and, over months of calls and fittings, brought Candice's vision to life, creating a stunning 2-in-1 dress.
Candice offers these tips for brides-to-be: "The wedding is a moment (not one to be trivialised, of course), but the marriage is a lifetime — prioritise accordingly. I cannot express enough how critical pre-marital counselling is. It helps remove the rose-tinted glasses. Surrounding yourselves with people who will encourage and pray for you helps build a strong foundation. Pray, pray, and pray some more: a marriage submitted to God is one kept and carried by Him. Lastly, free yourself from the unnecessary pressure of “Abantu bazothini [what will people say].”
Sechaba advises grooms to consult with married peers and elders to understand the dynamics and best practices of marriage. He adds, "Be present, patient, and positive. And never get your hair cut on game day — haircuts peak after at least 24 hours."
Candice and Sechaba's wedding was a testament to their enduring love, their commitment to tradition, and their unwavering faith. Their story serves as an inspiration to couples everywhere, demonstrating that love, when nurtured with intention and grounded in strong values, can truly stand the test of time.
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