South African actress Fikile Mthwalo has opened a new and deeply personal chapter in her life with the launch of her YouTube channel, This is 2020-FIKS, a platform where she speaks openly about personal growth, emotional healing and the difficult lessons she has learnt over the past few years. The channel went live earlier this week and has already drawn attention for its honesty and vulnerability, as Mthwalo reflects on divorce, career setbacks, immigration stress and the inner work that helped her rebuild her life.
Starting the new year with purpose, the It’s Complicated star explained that the idea behind the channel was born during a moment of self-reflection and determination. According to the channel’s bio, This is 2020-FIKS is rooted in a decision she once made to reclaim her life and sense of direction. “2020-FIKS was inspired by a New Year when I decided: this would be my year. The name just… followed. But this channel isn’t about pretending everything is perfect,” the bio reads.
The description makes it clear that the channel is not about curated success stories, but about unpacking the past and making sense of it. “We’re taking a wee glance back at my past – how I found meditation (again), how I used it to survive a divorce, immigration stress (America… am I right?), business failures, and the quiet unravelling that eventually became healing.”
In the first episode, which is currently the only one on the channel, Mthwalo dives straight into some of the most painful and defining moments of her life. She reflects on the ups and downs she has experienced in recent years, speaking candidly about her divorce, her return to South Africa after a decade abroad, and the deep sense of failure she carried for a long time.
One of the first topics she addresses is her divorce from actor Atandwa Kani, known internationally for his role in Black Panther. Mthwalo does not avoid the subject, acknowledging that it is something many people are already aware of. “Yes, my marriage ended. Everybody knows. And I’ll talk about it. I will,” she says in the video.
She then adds a reminder about the complexity of relationships and how little outsiders truly understand. “But you know how they say only the two people know what really happened in a relationship. Sometimes, even in that marriage, the people don’t know,” she added.
The former Isidingo actress also opens up about her decision to move back to South Africa after spending 10 years in New York. Rather than framing the move as a triumphant return, Mthwalo describes it as the result of disappointment and unmet expectations. She explains that she felt she had failed at the life she set out to build in the United States.
“I failed at pretty much everything I had set out to do. I got my degree, though. I got my degree. But as soon as I graduated, I couldn’t work. I didn’t have papers to work in the United States. So, that was almost an immediate fail,” she shared.
As she reflects on that period, Mthwalo speaks about how the breakdown of her marriage and later business struggles left her feeling lost and broken. She admits that at the time, she placed her hope in external solutions rather than confronting her own pain and fears.
“What was wrong with me? I felt fundamentally broken. I felt useless, and I feel like that’s why I waited in New York for so long. I was (a) waiting for a man to save me, and (b) I was waiting to get lucky, or both,” she said.
When neither of those things happened, Mthwalo explains that she was forced to look inward. She turned to spirituality and began actively working on her mental health, a process she describes as challenging but necessary. Through meditation and self-reflection, she started to understand that real change did not come from outside circumstances, but from within.
“Now I know that luck is created from the inside out. It has nothing to do with what happens on the outside, and everything to do with your mind,” she shared thoughtfully.
The episode ends on a hopeful and affirming note, with Mthwalo acknowledging that while her journey has been filled with disappointment and hardship, those experiences have shaped her into a stronger and more self-aware person. She embraces the woman she has become, despite — or perhaps because of — the struggles she endured.
“Even though things didn’t work out the way I wanted them to, they forced me into the woman I am today. I love the woman I am today,” she concluded.
With This is 2020-FIKS, Fikile Mthwalo is carving out a space that prioritises honesty, healing
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