Reality television personality, influencer and entrepreneur Vuyokazi Nciweni has opened up about some of the most personal chapters of her life, speaking candidly about love, body image, motherhood and the difficult decision to walk away from a relationship she felt no longer served her.
Many South Africans were first introduced to the 27-year-old through the popular reality show Uthando Nes’thembu, which follows the lives of KwaZulu-Natal businessman Musa Mseleku, his wives and children. Although she was not one of the wives, Vuyokazi quickly became a familiar face. Her calm demeanour and composed nature later earned her even more fans on the spin-off show Izingane Zes’thembu, where viewers warmed to her quiet strength.
Recently, Vuyokazi took to her YouTube channel to host a question-and-answer session, responding directly to questions from fans who have followed her journey closely. During the session, she addressed long-standing curiosity around her weight and the changes her body has gone through over the years.
She revealed that although she had never been comfortable being overweight, she chose to remain that way for a period because her then-boyfriend preferred curvaceous women. In her attempt to become “his type”, she said she consciously allowed herself to gain and keep the weight.
In 2025, Vuyokazi underwent gastric sleeve surgery in Turkey, a procedure that helped her lose weight and regain a sense of control over her body and self-image.
“I decided to lose weight because I hated being fat. To be honest, I didn’t like it. I hated my body. I only gained weight because I wanted to be loved. After all, the person I was with at the time preferred ‘big mamas,” she shared.
Expanding further, she explained that her weight gain was a deliberate decision driven by a desire for acceptance.
“I chose to do that to myself and gained weight because I wanted him to love me, because I wanted to be his type.”
She was honest about how deeply this decision conflicted with her true feelings about her body.
“Otherwise, being a big mama is not my cup of tea. I really don’t like being fat; I hated it my whole life.”
Vuyokazi said her struggles with weight began early in her life.
“I was fighting with my weight from primary school, and by high school, I was the fattest I had ever been. Then, around 2017 and 2018, I started losing weight again. I worked out, and my body was beautiful.“
However, after giving birth to her first daughter, her body changed again.
“But between 2019 and 2020, after I gave birth to my first daughter, my weight started creeping back up. After that, I lost weight again because I was breastfeeding and postpartum changes happen, and physically your body shifts,” she added.
She admitted that during her relationship, she prioritised someone else’s preferences above her own happiness.
“I did it by choice because I felt like that’s what was expected, and I wanted to feel loved.”
Vuyokazi also revealed that when she lost weight while still in the relationship, she was met with negative comments from her former partner. She noticed a stark difference in how he treated her compared to his other partner, which pushed her further into believing she needed to fit a certain image.
“I saw that the other girlfriends my then-boyfriend had were big mamas, and that’s what he loved. So, I gained weight, deliberately, because I saw the difference in the way he looked at his other girlfriends and me.”
She shared her story as a warning to others, urging people not to lose themselves in the pursuit of love.
“Sometimes you make decisions that you don’t like simply because you want to be loved, and that’s a mistake I would really advise others not to make,” she cautioned.
She added honestly, “Unfortunately, I was one of those people who changed their body for someone else.”
During the Q&A, she also addressed questions about co-parenting with her child’s father, making it clear that she is raising her child on her own.
“No, co-parenting between us is non-existent, and I’ve said this in an interview before, but when that changes, I’ll make sure to put it out there.”
When asked about the final moment that pushed her to leave the relationship, Vuyokazi said feeling like she was second best was something she could no longer tolerate.
“You guys know exactly why. You can’t replace me, you can’t put someone else before me, that was the last straw for me because as a woman, you know what you’ve been through, you know what you’ve been submitting, and you know you didn’t do anything wrong to deserve what was done to you,” she said.
In a previous interview with Drum, Vuyokazi made it clear that she has no intention of ever publicising her romantic relationships again.
“I would never go public with my relationships ever again, because after my first breakup, I vowed never to publicise my relationships again. Even the recent one was made public by him as he had the intention to gain whatever he wanted at my expense, so never again.”
She explained that public scrutiny has taken an emotional toll on her.
“I don’t want to be known as a girl who gets ‘dribbled’ by men, as that was an image people had of me last year, that I’m an easy girl and men can always have their way with me. The only time I’d ever go public is if I see the other person is genuinely into it for the right reasons and not to trend using my name.”
Vuyokazi also shared her frustration with constant comparisons to her ex-boyfriend’s current partner.
“What I really hate is people, and it’s not just my followers only, but other people, comparing me to the other woman, and I wish people could just move on from that and stop bringing up my past or comparing me to people I have nothing to do with anymore.”
Through her honesty, Vuyokazi has shown a willingness to confront uncomfortable truths about love, self-worth and healing, using her platform to remind others that choosing yourself is sometimes the bravest decision of all.
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