In some African settings, South Africa included, being gay or lesbian could lead someone to be treated like an outcast, stigmatised, and it is not easy for homosexuals to open out their sexual orientation even to close family members.
Former Our Perfect Wedding (OPW) presenter Nomsa Buthelezi (35) can count herself luck, having a supportive mother Magdalene Buthelezi (59) who tells to live her life without any regrets.
This opened a sigh of relief in her, gave her the courage to end years living as a pretender, she felt as if she was living life as if indebted to someone, whom she cannot afford to upset or let down.
She recalls to Move! “Nomsa stop living your life for people and embrace who you are. Sometimes you get into relationships because you are scared we are going to judge you. I gave birth to you, I know you. I know you are attracted to women and that’s okay. You are still my daughter,” her mother once told her.
She embraced her mom’s call, and she began paying particular attention to matters of her own heart, only then she felt happiness flowing through her veins, founding her real self. The former AboMzala actress now happy to confirm that Zandile Shezi (33) is her romantic partner and are planning to tie the knot in September. Both raring to go and can’t wait.
Nomsa who took time to publicly announce her sexuality, did so from experience, as has seen how members gays and lesbian community were being treated. Sometime in 2018, her children were on the receiving end, they were persecuted for the 'crime' of their mother, being lesbian.
Her coming to the open in August last year, was not with support or retribution, people who knew her received the news with mixed reactions. Some spoke highly of her for being bold enough to come open and move out from the cocoon of living under ground, for so long. They praised her bravery, and yet others called her all sorts of names, and hurled insults at her, this also affected her children too, they got bullied at school over the matter.
They only managed to overcome the persecution from the strengths of a their supportive family. She stood boldly by them and making them understand the situation, though at first it was not that easy. She took them down to the table, and explained to them her condition, finally they began to understand and embrace their mother as she is, to the extent of being able to tell their bullies at school to back off.
“They understand my sexuality. Yes, they were bullied at school but my kids made the other kids understand that ‘hey! If your mother has a husband, then my mother can have a wife and that’s that’,” Times Live once quoted her as saying.
Nomsa's 14 year old son shocked her when he understood her with relative easiness soon after she introduced Zandile to them, he openly told her mother how he had noticed she had been happier since Zandile came into the family's lives.
Nomsa who was not forcing Zandile down their throats was, shocked on how they clicked, and describes the connection as being natural.
The Lockdown actress had previously have had another lesbian relationship, which she had managed to keep under wraps, as she feared stigmatisation. She says this other relationship that spanned three years and ended at the beginning of the year 2019, was only known to her close relatives.
“People close to me knew that uNomsa uyi lesbian because I had been dating a girl for a long time,” she tells Move!
The ‘gold digging' actress is madly in love, and as her interview with Move! Was underway, she could steal occasional glances at Zandile, she has just found her feet, and is proud to be standing firm on both of them. For her, she felt relieved after having had been living a fake life.