"Give her the love she's always wanted but never gotten. Learn how to keep her coming back for more."
Dr. Victoria Zdrok earned her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Drexel University, a J.D. from Villanova Law School and her certificate in sex therapy from New Jersey School of Medicine. She is the author of Anatomy of Pleasure, and is the monthly sex advice columnist for Penthouse Magazine (for whom she was 2004 Pet of the Year). You can ask her questions three times a week on her radio talk show at ElectricEyeRadio.com, or visit her at her website, SexySexpert.com.
Making her happy doesn't always have to be a mystery. For years, the clitoris was considered the only trigger for the female orgasm. Alas, even finding the clitoris turned out to be a daunting task for many men, and things didn't get any easier in 1950 when a physician by the name of Dr. Ernst Grafenberg found an even more mysterious female pleasure spot hidden within the vagina.
This area became popularized by sexologists in the 1980s as the "G-spot." It turns out that stimulation of the G-spot produces a very powerful kind of female orgasm; and in some women, it even produces female ejaculation, colloquially known as "squirting."
For both of these reasons, finding, stimulating and discovering how to master the woman's G-spot has become, for both men and women, the Holy Grail of female pleasuring.
What exactly is the g-spot?
It is the bean-shaped, spongy tissue of the paraurethral gland, which is analogous to the male prostate. The actual area is only about the size of a quarter, but it feels rougher to the touch than the surrounding tissue. Because the G-spot is composed of erectile tissue, it swells up when blood rushes to it — especially if you learn how to master the woman's G-spot effectively.
It is located about one to two inches back from the vaginal opening inside the front vaginal wall. The "front" wall is the wall of the vagina on the same side as her belly button.
The best way to find the g-spot
First of all, the G-spot is easiest to locate when a woman is sexually aroused, so don't stint on your foreplay first. (You knew I would get that in!)
To locate and master the woman's G-spot, face your partner while she is lying on her back and insert your index or long middle finger into her vagina as far as it will easily go. Then crook it up toward yourself in a "come hither" motion, sliding your fingertip along the top of the vagina until you find an area that is rougher than the rest of that vaginal wall. (Make sure you have your fingernails clipped short and buffed before you do this — sharp fingernails will definitely spoil the effort.) This rough or slightly ridged area is the "G-spot," and touching it will often cause a woman to react with surprise or pleasure.
If you don't get a reaction, here's what you do to really master the woman's G-spot…
If you don't get a reaction, don't be too shy to ask her if she feels especially sensitive when you touch what you think is the spot. You may need to use a fair amount of pressure to find the G-spot because it is located within, not on the outside of, the vaginal wall.
Sometimes it helps to use your other hand on the outside of the mons pubis (the hairy area above the pubic bone) to lightly massage the skin in the area where your crooked finger is touching to intensify the effect. And since not all women are G-spot sensitive, don't get discouraged if you can't get a special reaction.
While some women are capable of multiple orgasms with repetitive stimulation of the G-spot, others don't get much of a feeling and some even feel discomfort from G-spot stimulation.
No worries — every woman will appreciate the attention and the effort! And while searching, you might discover other areas in her vagina that she responds to even more enthusiastically.
Tapping into love
The best way to manually stimulate the G-spot is with a firm "tapping" motion with your crooked finger. Some guys find it easier to stimulate the G-spot with various toys. Any dildo can be used for this, but the ones that are best suited for G-spot stimulation are hard and curved. Many are made specifically for G-spot stimulation, as their length, width and curve are specifically designed to take the "guesswork" out of G-spot stimulation.
Even women who do not enjoy manual stimulation of the G-spot may enjoy penile stimulation of the spot during intercourse. So, if your penis has a natural upward bend, you've got it made. Other men have to find positions that maximize penile contact with the front wall of the vagina. The "woman on top" positions and posterior (doggy style) positions are best for achieving that contact.
The only way to get G-spot stimulation in the missionary position is to prop her hips up with pillows (or with a special wedge known as "The Liberator"). Women can also intensify their ability to have G-spot orgasms by learning to contract their pelvic muscles, known as Kegel exercises.
Sex gets better with age
There is some evidence that the intensity of a woman's G-spot orgasm is mediated by the hormone estrogen. Most young women under 30 find clitoral orgasms to be more powerful because, due to their relatively high estrogen levels, their vaginal lining becomes too thick to allow direct stimulation of their G-spot nerves.
As the estrogen level begins to decline in women during their 30s, the vaginal lining becomes thinner and the G-spot becomes more accessible. That's why most women feel that they begin to peak sexually in their early to mid-30s.