These women are rebuilding their lives by working hard and staying away from the ‘blessee’ life.
The ‘blesser’ and ‘blessee’ phenomenon has in recent years become a trending reality, revealing how young girls are able to indulge in a lifestyle of luxury.
‘Author of I’m Still Here! Lebo Motsumi, now 30, was left HIV positive after a life of indulgence and community radio host, Khanyi Shiburi had to drop out of school as a result of being distracted by the lifestyle. Now, they tell Move! about how the blessee life is a so-called blessing that almost destroyed their lives.
In the early 2000s, Lebo says this ‘blesser’ term was simply referred to as ‘sugar daddy’.
“It is not a new thing, I guess it has evolved with time and trends,” she says.
Lebo had several blessers, at the age of 13 she was already sexually active and admits that it had nothing to do with how she was raised. She is from a good home, the life she led was brought on by “being too forward, unnecessary competition and liking things that she had no business liking.”
She had several sugar daddies who spoilt her, and she would in turn sleep with or some of them as she claims they were desperate to have someone who they can talk to.
“One of them once gave me R10 000 and told me to go to school. I went to Taboo Night Club in Sandton and enjoyed the life of champagne,” she says.
Unfortunately, over time, Lebo ended up HIV positive after dating a famous man who looked sick but because she was after the fame and money, she could not even see.
Lebo says, “That life is not worth it. What do you really get from it? These men will waste your time and move on to the next hot girl they meet, where will that leave you?”
Khanyi on the other hand left her family in Giyani, Limpopo when she was 20 to pursue a qualification in media studies at Boston Media House in Sandton.
“The girls on campus were always on point. The competition was too much. They just looked so good and I just wanted to be part of that,” she says.
Khanyi, who was 20 at the time explains that back home she had left her child with her mother who was sacrificing so much for her to be able to pay tuition fee which was R58 000 at the time.
I knew my mother would not understand when I told her that I need more money to look the part, so I had to do what other girls was doing,” she says
A night club, which was owned by the sushi king, Kenny Kunene was their favourite spot on a good night out.
“We knew there, it would not be difficult for find rich men. We had to look all glammed up to find a man who will buy us expensive drinks,” she says.
When it was not so fashionable to have a 34-inch weave worth over R5 000, Khanyi had it. She wore expensive cologne and had an apartment paid for by her blesser.
Although it was easy to attract a wealthy man who would pay for whatever Khanyi needed, there was price to pay for it.
“They would obviously expect you to sleep with them and because they do and buy you stuff, you would not say no to their demands even though you were uncomfortable,” the 26-year-old says.
She says some of her friends, their ‘blessers’ would want them to sleep with their friend too and they would not argue with that.
“After about a year of living this kind life, I wanted out. It was too much from me,” Khanyi adds. She failed dismally, wasting her mother’s hard-earned money. She says she had to move away from Joburg for her to get her life back on track.
“I had a child I had left at home. This life of Burberry’s and long weaves was just not worth it for me,” Khanyi says.
Both young women are rebuilding their lives by working hard and staying away from the ‘blessee’ life.