Actress Jessica Nkosi speaks on the ups and downs of finding love on social media


Jessica Nkosi and Asavela Mngqithi share their feelings on dating in the social-media age

The rise of social media, has brought good things as it has brought challenges, these days a suitor is more likely to slide into your ‘direct messages' (DMs), on Facebook, and the likes to ask you out, unlike the olden gone-by days where would-be lovers had to search each other up and down street corners, waiting and whistling at house gates, getting to know each other physically.

To bring the olden days back of the now long lost Zulu art of courtship, producers of TV drama Isibaya have come up with a production known as ukushelwa, aimed at reminding men how to treat women. Currently, the storyline between Jessica Nkosi’s character, Qondi, and the dashing Duma (Muzi Mthabela) is sizzling up the smallscreens. Dating dairies: in the show, Duma has made his intentions known and like a true gentleman, gives Qondi time to process response to his proposal.


But according to Jessica, this courtship type is now very rare in real life these days, the 29 year old believes ukushelwa has been replaced by quick-and-easy hookups, as men no longer to put in the work to make a physical connection any more.

“There’s a famous phrase on social media now, ‘Shoot your shot’. It means you have an opportunity to take your chance via social media and you might end up being in a relationship,” she said.
She added that this is far away from what she considers a respectable way of getting a woman’s attention. “It’s really sad that in this day and age we have lost it. He wants to comment on two photos for some attention, then DM and after that, it’s on? No! Or him sending a text saying, ‘Hi’. Just ‘hi’? What must I do with your ‘hi’? Am I supposed to ask, ‘How are you?’ Are you kidding me?” she said.
Speaking to Move magazine in an interview, Jessica said there should be physical efforts to show love rather than this social media thing of sending messages and pictures. “Respect me enough to make an effort. Send me flowers. Shock me. Surprise me,” she said.

The storyline of ukushelwa goes far beyond the element of a relationship, added her co-star Asavela Mngqithi, who plays cupid, whose character, Ntwenhle Ndlovu, is leading the union of Duma and Qondi. “Courting does matter. It lays the foundation of what’s going to happen. Ukushelwa sets out what the guy plans to do and why he wants you. It touches a lot on our culture too,” she told Move magazine.

These are questions that should be answered in the process of ukushelwa. “It’s all about a woman’s pride,” she added.

Asavela (22) is yet to believe she has made it landing a role in one of the biggest shows on TV. She joined Isibaya after auditioning in 2017. Before that she made waves on Facebook by posting funny videos, earning herself a name in the process.

On the other hand, Jessica is also in the same light, she can't believe she landed this big role. She admitted that when she first read the script, she doubted very much if she was going to pull it through, but has since grown into a smallscreen favourite.

“I love Qondi’s growth. She’s gone through so much. She used to be the girl in the background. Then she went through being raped by her husband and killing him.

“It’s been beautiful for me to play this person who has so many dynamics,” she said, adding that for her, it is a dream come true, as she has always loved to be on TV.

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