I'm extremely horny, my lover of 5 years doesn't want to have sex with me, please help!

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Dear Auntie,

I’ve been in a relationship with my partner for almost five years. We are good together in many ways – always happy and faithful to each other – but the problem is she often rejects me when it comes to sex.

I try to talk to her about this but she either changes the subject or just says she’s not interested. I haven’t had sex for over two months.

This worries me and I don’t know what else to do. Please help.

RESPONSE

A relationship is about two people, but your partner seems like she’s in a relationship all on her own. If there are things she has issues with she shouldn’t keep quiet.

She should tell you what it is so you can understand what the problem is. She needs to understand that her refusal to discuss the lack of intimacy in your relationship is not helping and will only make matters worse.

If this isn’t sorted out soon it could lead to both of you seeking intimacy elsewhere. If you can’t resolve it on your own you might benefit from a session with a relationship counsellor.

She might have valid reasons for her behaviour, but you can’t rectify the situation if you don’t know what they are. Talking about why she’s withholding intimacy will enable both of you to work on the solution.


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