I live with my partner of 16 years and we have three kids. I haven’t been working for the past two years and she’s been the one taking care of us.
One day she came back from work and told me I must never expect to make love to her anymore because all she can think about all day is our debts.
Since then we’ve slept in separate rooms. She claims she still loves me but how can that be possible?
Please help me find a way forward.
There seems to be more going on here than meets the eye. Your partner has been supportive to you since you lost your job and you’ve both been doing well. So why the sudden change in her behaviour? And why the ultimatum?
When you lost your job did you sit down and discuss how things were going to be until you were able to secure employment? If you didn’t, then it should happen now as family dynamics can change when you go from a two-income home to just one partner taking care of all the financial needs. Your partner should be willing to discuss this matter with you, and reach an amicable decision.
If she refuses then you’ll know her decision has nothing to do with the fact that you’re unemployed – then it’s far more likely she’s just using it as an excuse.
She claims to still love you so she should be willing to work with you to sort things out and not deprive you of intimacy.
This is obviously putting a lot of strain on your relationship. So before it goes to far talk to her and find out the real reason behind her decision.