For most men, the female brain is a mystery as it is on normal, casual days. But when it comes to the after effects of sex, the mystery escalates from ‘I wish I knew what she was thinking’ to the unfathomable chasm of deep unknown – ‘I can clearly see various thoughts fleeting across her facial expressions but for the life of me, I don’t know what they are – and I hope they are good!’ Unfortunately, while most men are worried if the thoughts in their partner’s heads pertain to their prowess in bed or the performance they just thought they had exceeded in, it is a startling fact that a woman’s brain is often likely to wander into the mundane, no matter if they just had the most phenomenal, earth shattering sex ever, just minutes ago.
Of course if the love making was less than spectacular, leaving the women dissatisfied and left wanting more action, it is possible that the woman’s post coital thoughts still linger on the sex, but more often than not, if men were ever to know for sure, silly, day-to-day things are the things that occupy most female brains post sex. Here’s a look at 20 such mental fascinations that intrigue women, especially after the bedroom acrobatics.
1. That was good.
2. Is it tacky to check my phone right now? Like 20 seconds after we just finished having sex? Yes.
3. I better go pee so I don’t get a UTI. And explain that to him for the fortieth time.
4. God, I’m wheezing like a 70-year-old chain smoker. I need to go to running more. I got that cute J.Crew puffy vest for it and everything.
5. Was my cat watching us the whole time? Probably. At least she didn’t try to swat at his balls.
6. How does the condom wrapper always end up on the floor?
7. He listened to me about the finger thing from last time! Good to know he takes suggestions.
8. I can’t wait to tell my best friend at brunch tomorrow. Still too soon to look at my phone, right? Yeahhh.
9. Do we cuddle now? I don’t want to instigate it because then I’m The Girl Who Cuddles.
10. Oh OK good he instigated it.
11. Awww, man, we rolled right into the wet spot. Wet spots are God’s way of punishing us for the sin of fornication.
12. We clearly both feel this wet spot and neither of us are acknowledging it. Because it’s awkward (if we’re newly dating) and/or we’re stubborn and lazy (if we’re in a long-term relationship).
13. Do we have to get up and change the sheets? Do I even have clean sheets right now?
14. OK, yeah, let’s just get up and change them.
[Sheets changed. Back to cuddling.]
15. Is his arm falling asleep?
16. Did my neighbors hear us? Eh, who cares?
17. How is he asleep already?
18. At least I can text my best friend now and tell her I totally just did it.
19. I’m trapped here now. Under his giant leaden sleeping-man arm. I guess I just have to lie here until we drowsily roll over and switch positions at 3 a.m.
20. What should I get for brunch tomorrow? I’ll let my internal debate between pancakes and Eggs Benedict lull me to sleep.