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I suspect my boyfriend is HIV positive, how do I tell him to go and get tested?


Dear Aunty,

I’m a 30-year-old man and I met a guy a few months ago – he’s 37. We haven’t had sex yet, but I suspect he might be HIV-positive.

I want to suggest we both get tested but I don’t want my suggestion to push him away or offend him in any way. He’s a very nice guy and I love him.

I would never leave him, even if he is HIV-positive because I know about HIV/Aids. I just need to know his status so we can take proper precautions. How do I bring up the topic without offending him?


You must be commended for taking precautions when it comes to your health and also for being a loving partner. It’s a good thing you want to do for both you and your partner, and if he doesn’t see it that way then he clearly doesn’t value your relationship.

A lot of people today make it a prerequisite to test and share their results with their partners at the beginning of a new relationship. This eliminates any doubts when they want to take it to the next level.

Maybe that could be your starting point– talk to your partner about this and ask him what he thinks. Then tell him you’d like to go together to your nearest voluntary counselling and testing (VCT) centre so you can give each other support.

Good luck.

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