You’re thinking about taking the next step with your partner, but how do you know if your relationship is ready or not? Here are some red flags to look for that may tell you that you should probably hold off on getting married.
1. YOU HAVE VERY DIFFERENT IDEAS ABOUT MONEY.
If you don’t agree on how to handle money or what to prioritize your spending on, it can cause a lot of problems after marriage when bills start piling up, especially after buying a house or having kids. If you have a lot of debt, it can put an even bigger strain on your relationship. If you’re not truly on the same page about your financial plans, it’s probably a bad idea to tie the knot.
2. YOUR IN-LAWS CLEARLY DON’T APPROVE.
If the in-laws don’t support your relationship for whatever reason (for instance, your religious views are different or they just dislike you), then it’s really hard to make a relationship work due to the added stress put on the couple. If in-laws interfere with your relationship and make your lives more difficult, it may eventually split your marriage up no matter how good your relationship is otherwise.
3. YOUR GOALS DON’T ALIGN.
If you don’t agree on whether or not you want kids, for example, it can cause the partner that doesn’t get their way to be unhappy and resentful. Also, if you don’t support each other’s career choices and aren’t partners in helping each other succeed, your relationship definitely won’t survive marriage. You need to make sure that you both want the same things out of life and will support each other no matter what.
4. YOU FIGHT ALL THE TIME.
You argue about every little thing to the point that you forget what you’re fighting about sometimes and you can’t get past your issues. This is a sure sign of an unhealthy relationship, and getting married won’t fix it, it’ll only make it worse because you’ll have even more things to fight about. These problems should be addressed before complicating your situation more.
5. EVERY LITTLE THING YOUR PARTNER DOES IRRITATES YOU.
Things that used to be endearing to you now bother you. Your significant other annoys you more often than you actually enjoy their company. Since you still love your partner, you may think it’s just because you’ve become comfortable in the relationship, but getting married will only make you notice annoying characteristics more. You need to be able to accept everything about the other person and how they are now, or it may lead to the downfall of your marriage.
6. YOU DON’T HAVE ANY INTEREST IN EACH OTHER.
If you have no shared hobbies, you’re not reinforcing your bond and your relationship may fall apart because of it. And if you have no interest in what the other person does (for example, you never ask what your partner did each day or you spend all of your time together on your phone), it’ll create a divide that will only grow when you get married. It’s so important to maintain a good connection and to never get lazy in your relationship.
7. YOU DON’T TALK ABOUT ANYTHING, REALLY.
A relationship will never survive without good communication. If you can’t talk about anything and everything, including your issues, your problems will keep building up. You can’t ignore things forever, and sweeping them under the rug is not conducive to a healthy marriage. Fix the communication gap before getting hitched.
8. YOU’RE NOT SATISFIED WITH YOUR SEX LIFE.
Either you’re stuck in a sexless relationship, or you’re not feeling fulfilled in the bedroom. Sex is a huge part of a healthy relationship and highs and lows are indeed normal, but if it seems like it never gets better no matter what you do, getting married isn’t going to change anything. It’ll just make you more miserable because you’ll be stuck in an unhappy marriage instead of just an unhappy relationship.
9. THERE WAS INFIDELITY IN THE PAST.
It’s possible to move past an affair if you’re both willing to work on it and you’re honest with each other in the future. However, if one of you has checked out or claims no responsibility, the relationship is not worth saving and you definitely shouldn’t get married. Even if you still love each other, cheating can be extremely hard to move on from.
10. YOU THINK MARRIAGE WILL CHANGE THE OTHER PERSON.
If you think your partner will be nicer, more responsible, or will quit nasty habits when you get married because things are officially serious, you’re completely delusional. Sure, it’s possible for someone to change, but chances are it’s not going to be enough and you’ll be disappointed.
11. YOU’RE ALREADY THINKING ABOUT A PLAN B.
You’re not sure your marriage will last if you go through with it so you already have a plan for when things go wrong. This probably means you know the relationship is doomed and you don’t want to admit it. If you have any doubts, get out now because it’ll be better than getting a divorce down the road. No relationship is perfect, but if there are glaring signs it may not work out, don’t do it.