I lied to my boyfriend that I was a virgin – Please Help!


I will be 21 years old in September. I have a boyfriend who is 24. He is a Christian but I am not. When we started talking, I told him that he was my first boyfriend, my first serious boyfriend. It was a lie but I wanted to impress him because I had just started to attend the church he attends and I did not know whether he would leave me if I told him that I had boyfriends before and that I was sexually active before becoming a member of the church. The truth is, I have been having sex since I was 17 years old and I have done so with four different men. One of them was as old as my father but we were very good friends. I spent an entire weekend at his house but my parents did not know that I was there with him. They thought that I was at my girlfriend's house. We had sex every day, sometimes twice a day, and it was all different types of sex. After I became a Christian and joined the church, this man tried to get me to come and spend some more time with him but I told him no because I had found my future husband. My conscience is bothering me because I lied to my boyfriend and gave him the impression that I am a virgin. Recently he told me that he was very lucky to know me because he always wanted a virgin girl. So Admin, I don't know what to do. How can I let him know now that I am not a virgin? I read sometime ago that a woman can do surgery that would make her so tight that a man would not know that she was sexually active. Is that true? I don't want to lose my boyfriend. I should have told him the truth. Should I tell him now that I lied to him? He may never want me again. Please give me your advice.


Dear E.,

You have to be worried because you started out in this relationship as a liar. You did not have to lie when you met your boyfriend. You could have told him the truth because he expected that from you. Before the relationship goes further I suggest that one day you should tell him that you have something bothering you and you would like to talk to him about it. Just tell him that you have lied about being a virgin. You don't have to say anything about having four men in your life and that one is as old as your father or that you spent an entire weekend with him. Just tell him that you were trying to impress him. Tell him you want his forgiveness and you may add that you don't want to lose him. If he says that he cannot go any further in the relationship then let him go. It is true that a girl can have surgery on her vagina that will make her extremely tight but I do not recommend that surgery. It is very expensive and I do not see why a woman should put herself in such a situation just to please her man.


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